Finding problems is the way?
Problems can be a gateway to what you really want, or at least they are the signposts to somewhere better, a good place where the problem is solved and we all know that feeling, when you actually resolve an issue that has been bugging you. It is not just an emotional release, you physically notice it in your body, a burden has been lifted, you feel lighter, euphoric and powerful, you appreciate your own strength and newly found elegance and skill, you are a problem solver and who does not want to be that rather than the alternative of being a problem creator, manifestor and magnet. Which begs the question, why do we desire to have no problems? Why avoid the great feeling of solving problems? Is it the friction of getting going, the pain of starting or is it just a sad unwillingness to defer gratification like a child with a chocolate bar and no impulse control.
Which immediately feels harsh to say, and the inner demons of optimism are saying sure there are those people, but there are also good people who sit in the middle, who are not very good at solving things and are unlucky. Yet bad things happen, to everyone all the time it is part of life, and when I think of family, friends and colleagues, they divide so neat into the two camps of problem solvers and creators, that it is hard to ignore the dividing line. However those who do fall into the second category, almost always have a reason which boils down to the fact that they have never been forced to deal with real problems, they have been shielded from the harsh world by those who care about them or good circumstances. Of course. people still have problems but the kind that failing to deal with them do not have obvious immediate massive downsides, we are incredibly protected in the modern world especially when we are born into the protective network of our family who guard our well-being and safety, it can be easy to avoid having to develop the skill of problem solving.
Of course, there is always a downside to not having a skill, if only in the lost of opportunity cost to use the skill for your advantage, the good news is that it is a skill and as such it can be leanrt, practice and mastered. Problem solver are in big demand, they are valued, treasured and useful to know, more than that they are in general happy because solving problems is satisfying and fulfilling, it feels good so you are better company, more optimistic and driven. What you will never hear them say is they wish all their problems would go away that is a phrase only problem creators say or believe is possible and they would add that it the measure of success, the point of their lives is to have no problems and an easy life. Which seems reasonable until you see the results of pursuing an unachievable goal and the unhappiness that results.
Now I have nothing against moments of ease, a chance to relax, recharge and prepare myself for the fight again, but I like it in the service of the fight, it aligns with my purpose to be the best plausible version of myself, so much so that I have built it into my life and routine, it is ease for a purpose. My day starts when I prepare for sleep, I know that me after six hours of sleep and eight hours is a different beast, capable of greater effort, concentration and fortitude, it is not a luxury or nice to have, it is essential, it is the sharpening of the axe to make the chopping down of a tree easier and more efficient, it is the calm in the center of the storm about which the strength of my life is spinning. I relax and recover for an interesting life not to hide from it, and it is in no sense the meaning of my life, the mission or even the reward, it is just self-care and maintenance, a pit-stop to change the tyres and refuel in a high speed race.
What I do not want is a life of ease, it the cherry on top, the reward at the end of the day, but it is not the diet of the day, you need your fiber and a little roughage. If you really want to appreciate a comfy armchair and a roaring fire, go on a thirty mile hike in the rain first, then you will know true joy and happiness, it is easy to generate and enjoy, and yet so few of us do. You can do this deliberately, and often in our world of easy choices it is easy to avoid any hardness, exertion and effort. I can not recommend highly enough to build some physical, emotional and intellectual hardship in your life (walking, mediating and learning, covers each in turn) just in case the world does not give it to you, which is the attitude that problem solvers adopt, they seek out problems.
Problem solvers are like squirrels with a nut habit, they want more, as much as they can handle and then a little more to make themselves stronger, more able and it is constant, a never ending staircase where you are hoping for a larger, more challenging steps, not those baby steps you started on but ones that are suited to you now. They never hope for the end, they want the variety and new exciting ones, because they know how good problems feel, how absorbing and ultimately how life fulfilling they are, like salt in the soup without it there is a lacking, no contrast, nothing for sweetness to be measured against which you could never have guess from just tasting salt as a single ingredient (which is only way to learn to cook, taste how things taste on their own and then how they combine).
That is the beauty of learning, knowledge and understanding, they enrich our lives, deepen them, even give them reason, and problems are the driver, a powerful motivation, they are fundamental to our evolutionary drive, we are the greatest problem solvers ever it exist in the history of the universe. First in our ability to see the problems, to link cause and effect over time and then take action in the present to improve our position in the future (what use to be called sacrifice).
And indeed sacrifice is one problem solving strategy, it has a bad name in our current culture, because we have been told the lie that life is easy and that is how it should be, that we deserve it all and any difficult solution is automatically a bad solution. Which is not even remotely true, choice are not pain free, easy, obvious or universally true, one solution does not fit all, you are a unique person, with individual life circumstances, character and advantages, all we really have control over is our character and how we react, whether we are problem solvers or creators is a fundamental part of that character.
It is not an easy path, changing your character, how you react is difficult, and if the first problem you have to solve, is the problem of how to become a problem solver it can seem overwhelming like learning to play Go with just the rules (which are simple but tell you nothing about the tactics and strategies) do not despair. Remember it is a learnable skill that you get to chose to learn, and now you have that knowledge it is your problem to solve, and if you don't that is your problem, sucker, now you have got homework, thing do not come without a cost, go learn to be a problem solver and they are plenty easy one to start on and find once you start looking.
Which is where I would start, easy, little, low stakes ones, have a go, do not ask for help or describe them to others before tackling them, try first then discuss how you solved them with others. You might be surprised by others when you do, instead of them sagging a little at another problem that you are having they might actually be energised by your attempts, they might suggest other ways you could do it in future or how they would have done it. Listen to them, learn from people you admire and look out for their strategies, a discussion about how to is so much more enjoyable for all, than one person giving their problems to someone else to solve. By doing so you become the part of society that solves problems, that make a difference and helps other rather than being just another set of problems, be part of the solution, is that not an exciting, satisfying and a joyful way to live your life, welcome to the club.
