A lighthouse in dark storms?

We all process an universal fear that we are missing out on a perfect life, however make no mistake it is illusionary no matter how real it might seem do not fall into the trap of aspiring to an impossible standard, it is a dangerous journey to embark upon and will end in disappointment at only having a good enough life. There are certainly good lives and poorer ones but they all exist on a spectrum with their own unique qualities, advantages and problems. We might see someone else life and think we want that, though we are only aware of where they are at that moment and have no idea what it took to get to that point, we all have pain sooner or later, we all experience the dark storms that rock everyone, life can only truly feel good once we have pasted through some pretty rough seas and the rougher they are, the greater the sense of calm and joy we have on the other side. Only a fool would seek out those storms and there is no need, they always find you in the end, better to prepare your boat and set out with the hope of arriving at a good destination, plot a good route and see where life takes you.

I would not wish dark storms on anyone, that is why we protect our children for as long as we can, to give them a sense of what good sailing feels like so that they will recognise it when they return to a calm and good place, so they have the chance of restoration. However I would not give up my experiences of the dark storm for anything, they made me the person I am today and I am grateful for them, they give me strength to endure whatever life might choose to give me next, I know that feeling of calm after the storm to be the precious gift that it is. When you met a person who has not gone through the same it is hard not to feel a great sympathy for the shock that they are going to have when the dark storms come for them.

That feeling of being lost when the storms hit your life that there is no escape and that the storm will never end until you hit the rocks and sink to the depths without hope, it is terrible and haunting, you would not wish it on anyone. The idea that you just have to endure some bad weather and that it is going to be alright afterward, seems like a children's story, that it is something you tell them to make life bearable and that adults should know better than to believe. After all we all know that it is possible to fail, we know the real stories, that there is illness, death, harsh poverty, second chances are not an automatic right, not everyone finds their angel, life is full of risk and danger, it would be foolish to pretend otherwise.

Though whilst your heart is beating, there is hope, we can endure the very worst of storms, we can get through them, not always in one piece, bad events do happen, limbs are lost, hearts broken, loved ones are lost, however we do get to chose whether we suffer or cope and that is a kind of magic which is a blessing and full of hope. We get to decide whether we hold on to our suffering and generate our own darkness in addition to the weather of life, we can have the ability to make the skies darker, we are allowed to ignore the beams of light that guide us towards calm waters. However for all of us suffering is a choice, it is our right if we choose to demand it, we can suffer over thing we want, but I hope you see that it is a poor choice to make.

There is always the lighthouse that will guide us if we want to see it, sometimes it might just be a flicker of brightness that barely registers on our consciousness, it might just be an echo of a old memory of a calmer time from childhood, but there is always the hope of restoration to a better sense of self, where we are able to enjoy the simple joy of not experiencing pain and suffering. It can be difficult to remember such times when you are deep into the storms, the first step is always to give yourself time and distance by whatever means you have at hand, the simple pleasure of a cup of coffee, reading a book, writing or cooking, they are the habits that we can build into our lives that build the foundation of a solid lighthouse that guides you back from the storm's cold embrace. Give yourself a place to return to, a time when life was good, easy, it might just be a collection of moments, reminders of feelings that felt wonderful, an image of a smile that brought you joy, a kiss, a sense of ease at the end of a hard day, anything that you might wish to be restored to you.

They are reminders that we need to stop fighting the storms of our mind, stop reacting, stop turning and fighting the power that is rocking, tossing and turning us. Our suffering is in need of our consent to power the continuation of the dark storm, and that is the secret, the magnitude of the dark storm is of our own making, it need us to create it in the first place and we have to pay attention to it to make it stronger, and it is full of tricks and traps, every place and corner of your mind gives it more power not less, it can only overwhelm you with your aid. Which also means that you have the power to stop it, to lessen it's winds and the domination of your thoughts, you have to let it go before it will release you.

Stop struggling, letting things be is the action of letting things go, especially suffering, and that can feel so difficult at the moment that you are experiencing them, the last thing you want to do is let it be, it feels so passive, you want to defeat the storms, run from it, dash like a hero to the port that the lighthouse is guiding you towards. However the lighthouse is just there to give you hope, to help you remember that there is calmer waters ahead if you are brave enough to just let thing be, to stop fighting the feeling, thoughts and sense of darkness, it is just an illusion that has you trapped and it needs your energy to feed it, to maintain it's power. It is only by letting it be, by watching it, observing it without your sense of being part of it, that is in your power, it is your choice not the dark storm, so be at ease and let it be so that you can turn your attention towards your lighthouse as that is where you already are, you just forgot it for a while.

The dark storm will pass without the energy that you give it, you might not end up in the same place that you were before, your life could be different not worse or better necessary but changed. That is life, it is full of change, there are crescendos and toughs, hard times and wonders, it is the only certainty, your life will change, what you do with them is up to you. It is the suffering that I am asking you to give up, the regrets, fears of how your life will be now, that is the agony and the source of pain, let it be and you will get the gift of letting go. By giving up your past, you make room for new adventures, possibilities, never allow yourself to become stuck in your own drama, look instead for the new stories, starts and ways of being that you never knew was an option.

There is a better place that is only available by going through the pain of the dark storm, it is where forgiveness lives both for other and yourself, it is where you can have presence with a state of grace, ease and joy. Often it is the restoration of a peace that you have nearly forgot though sadly it is only recognisable once you have passed through the storms of life, it is always there with you but it requires the passing of those dark storms before you can truly appreciate the calm and witness what was already present, so seek the lighthouse of this promised land, it is there for all who keep the faith and look out for it guiding light. Let it be and you will let it go, then when things are peaceful, you will realise that you had already arrived before you had even start your journey, just as the sailors who sail around the world to get back to where they begun, life is just the story of there and back again, so the lighthouse is the light that leads us back to home.