Why joy is a guide that shadows us?
It would be so useful if joy was a compass that you followed to a better place, instead it is much more subtle and elusive than it's cousin happiness which is loud, obvious but often misguided and only interested in short term pleasure. Whilst happiness gives you an immediate high, it dances like a fool in front of you and make no mistake, it can be fun it until by the end of the night when it falls over and misleads you into strange place, it sadly has no sense and lives only for the moment. Joy on the other hand does not look for the limelight, it creeps up on you, pushes you forward, makes you lighter and life easier, it does not tell you what to do, it just silently witnesses what you do and then rewards you afterwards if you have taken the right path. It is up to you to pay attention to it's effects which are often slow to emerge, it does not spring into action, it only contemplates slowly whether it wishes to bless you with it's grace and presence.
In a similar fashion to what we eat, joy's benefits are time delayed, you never know how the food you eat will make you feel, whether that is full of energy and alert, or lethargic and full of gas, until a good hour or two has passed. You have to pay attention beyond the immediate feelings of passing hunger, it is not just about how it tastes which is the important factor as to how food changes your satisfaction and energy level, it takes time to digest and it is easy to ignore the rumbling of indigestion despite the fact that the only cause for it is what you ate for lunch. The happiness of rich, heavy food has a price for most of us, the only difference between healthy and happiness people and the rest of us is the awareness to link two events over time.
The same is true for joy in general, it is not the instant hit of happiness, it is the climate as opposed to the weather of happiness, it is slow and takes it time, it is what is left when all the other emotion noise clears, it is what it there when our worries clears, our anxiety eases and we let go of our desires. Whilst we might seek joy, it is actually already present behind us like a shadow that turns with our head, it is impossible to see it directly, it is internal, whilst happiness is external, and we are only aware of it by implication, it is soft like a bird's song and easily drowned by the sounds of everyday life. We have to stop moving forwards and appreciate it's presence, as it thrives on the contrast to so much of our rushed and hurried life, that is why it is more likely to be recognise when we are in nature, when we are not overwhelmed by excitement, overstimulation of everyday trouble, distractions and difficulties, nature is a natural brake that slows us down to where we can feel joy.
It is there in our quiet moments when the party is over and we are just sitting with a sense of completion, when a good time has been had and there is nothing else to do, where there is no other high to be pursued. It is there in the arms of a lover before we sleep, it is the restoration of our own internal peace, it the ultimate prize that awaits when we have achieved our goals whether it is getting everything done in a day or a lifetime of struggle. Joy is the companion of achievement, it is the emotion state of being that we chase after but it does not have to only there at the end of the rainbow. It can be there at every step of the way, we just have to give it the space to overtake us.
When we allow it room to manoeuvre, to catch up with us, it can be an everyday occurrence, we can not demand it's presence, it is not under our command, we are not it's master rather it is a supportive friend, ready to step in and celebrate our appreciation of what is good. It is up to us to invite it into our lives, it does not demand our attention, but when we choice to look for what is beautiful and good, it will agree with us and heighten our experience. If you see a bird in your garden, you can ignore it, complain that it is pecking at your grass and stealing your worms right under your nose, you can chase them off your strawberries with anger, or instead you can sit with a cup of coffee and watch their dance, you can protect them from cats, care for them by leaving out nutty treats and a water bath, and you can be rewarded for your care and love with the presence of joy in your life, the delight of loving kindness leaves in it's path that elusive feeling of joy.
The metaphor is not limited to the birds, though they are an easy source of joy that should be cultivated, as should every easy win that is available, as practise makes perfect joy. That is why coffee should not be rushed, a slow cup of coffee that is made with love and slow process is always better than rushed instant hot water that is gulped down before running out the door. It is in slowing down and giving yourself time to find the joy that is always with us that we get to fill our lives with steady and reliable sources of joy, slow food, walks, travel, love and work are all ways of bringing joy into our lives. We try to be busy when instead we should be deliberate in our choices, there is so much time in our day when we only focus on those things that bring us joy, a hour of slow play with our children is so much better than a day of rushing from one fun activity to another, twenty events in a day, school, sports, reading, chess club, a birthday party, whilst all good on their own, when you cram them all into one day, just leaves everyone too rushed and tired to enjoy them.
It is in finding space and time that we allow ourselves the room to allow joy to linger with us, it thrives in emptiness, as is witnessed by those who allow the maximum amount of space in their lives by a lifetime of meditation. It is a defining characteristic of enlightened people that they are joyful beyond anything that is ordinary, and whilst that kind of life is not for most people (including myself), it does not mean we should not learn the lesson of their sacrifices, and use them as a guide to a better life, it turns out that emptiness is not empty but instead where joy exists as a kind of universal field. So dip your toes in and enjoy the ocean of emptiness, visit it as often as you can and enjoy the sea of calm that we all sail upon. Make the space by not always being busy and rushing, deliberately make the time with meditation or a walk in nature, do not worry that it a waste of time as there is nothing more refreshing than a little dose of joy and nothing more healing for the soul, joy can only exist in stillness, it is not a doing but a being, let thing be, that way you can listen to your internal guide and you doing nothing at all and listening to nothing except your own breath and being.
