Surface layer?
You can search for happiness as much as you want but if you truly to want to find it, you have to stop, look within and start finding it within your own experience. There are many layers of our conscious experience, there is the external world that we experience through our senses of sight, sound, touch, smell and taste, and in the opposite direction, we have the internal experience of our emotions, feelings, thoughts, and mind's eye, and then in between there is the surface, the layer from which we observe, that we can turn our attention inwards or outwards. However despite it clearly being present it is hard to define exactly what that layer is, and try as we might it is impossible to observe it or even define it, which turns out to be more liberating than you could possibly imagine.
When we observe the sea, we are aware that there is a surface, as there is waves upon the sea's water that meets the air of the sky, they move up and down, it is where evaporation creates a gradient of moisture content, there is clearly a surface, and it is sticky, water has surface tension that can be measured, but it is really any more than a construction of the observer, a way of understanding that the water has stopped and the air has begun. It is hard to describe the differences in any other way than scientific terms of how much water content there is, as each side of the surface has different amount of water, but there is air in the water, and water in the air. They definitely have different characteristics, the sea has the ability to store more energy, it is rigidly tied to gravity, filling any container evenly, whereas the water in the air dance in huge clouds.
The same is true for the human experience, we can see an apple on a table or in our minds, whilst the one on the table is tied to gravity by rigid rules, it will rest until a force acts upon it. The apple in our mind is entirely different, it can dance and spin, or just sit in a void, we can taste that apple at a distance with no need to move it to your mouth, it can even turn into a chicken whether we want it to or not. The elements are the same but they act differently according to which side of the surface that they are, and apples in reality are rarely as perfect as in our minds, it is never as good as that apple from our childhood that we remember (or maybe we were just hungrier as a child!).
We know that the surface is important, there is a surface tension that resists thoughts passing through it, we rarely shared them without checking what their effects are going to be in the world, what we think can hurt people in real life, that is why we have filters through which we pass them through, we use our empathy to check how someone else might feel, especially as they do not have the full context of what we might mean, and we are aware of that. Indeed talking without thinking can land you in a lot of trouble, having no filters can be a mental health issue, being completely honest without kindness or empathy is cruel whether there is an intention to be or not.
However what is really interesting about this surface is our inability to see it, unlike the surface of the sea, there is nothing to see not even by it's absence, there is not even vague phenomenon that we can point towards, it simply is not there. We can observe the external world, we see, hear, touch, we are aware of our internal world, by thinking, images and feelings, both are real and constant, they are always there for your attention to examine, indeed it is very difficult to ignore them even if you want to, but the surface between the two is just not there, you have never experienced the surface except as a presumption that it is there. We assume that there is a surface of the sea as it stop and then there is air, and we can understand that as changes in the characteristics of substances, there is clear a difference, it might be vague at the atomic level, but for practical purposes it is there.
There are no practical purpose of the surface of our experience, we feel that there should be, it feels like that is where we are, we look in and out from this surface, this is the only place where the observer could be, and yet it does not exist. It is hard to be believe that the external world happens and the internal world happens, they certainty effect each other, our internal experience of the external world is powerful, and it does not just correlates but there is direct casualisation, our image of an apple can only comes about because we have seen the apple in the external world. It is also true that the internal world gives meaning to the external world, we see waves in the sea, but the waves do not exist in reality, the waves at no point know that they are waves, it just wave moving according to it's own internal physic, it moves because it has to because of everything that has happened before, just as the Sun and it's associated planets exist because of stars that exist billions of years before, it is all just a mechanical clock that started with the big bang.
It is only humans and our internal worlds that gives the external world meaning, in the koan, where the tree falls in the wood and no one is there to witness it, does it make a sound? The point of that koan is not that there is no one to witness it, rather it shows us that even when we are sitting there, there is no us, no witness, there is just the internal and external experience, there is never anyone to witness, as there is no surface layer, there is no observer at any moment in your life, there is just the process and the interaction between, the internal and external world. The internal reflects the external, it repeats it and labels it, that creates meaning and turns the sensory experience of the tree falling and creating sound waves in the physical medium of air, and then our internal processes turns that into the sound of a tree falling, we experience it as the tree falling, we give it meaning, and the reason we turn it in to meaning is because a tree falling could kill us and our internal process does not want to end.
This is the basis of our internal experience, we have the instinct to survive and reproduce, we want to continue existing, our drives come from this internal force, we want food, water, to keep warm, and when we do not have them we will do anything to have them, this is our nature, and there is little point in pretending they do not exist, that is why the middle way exist in Buddhism. We have pleasure and pain, the fabled carrot and stick, they are drives that we have little control over, we are on the surface between water and air, we are part of the mechanical world and yet we are conscious simultaneously. In the same way we give things meaning because they help us fulfill those drives, meaning helps us survive and thrive, they make our life better in very real and important ways, if fire had just happen and we have never given it meaning our minds would never have developed to the level it is at now, we would never have cooked meat and we would not have the mind that we have now, we have meaning because meaning is useful, it improves our chances of survival.
Meaning is powerful, it changes the world, it is not good or bad, but a tool for surviving, when the tree falls, we run and we are not under it, we survive to create the next generation, the next person and then they too will experience consciousness, and it is wonderful. We experience pain and pleasure, in a way that a flower never get to, it only us that get to be consciousness and experience the beauty of a flower, there is no mirror that will give a flower the experience of it's own beautiful, there is only us, at the surface between the our own internal and external world. Our consciousness is such a slim slice of our experience, yet we alone in the entirety of the entire universe get to have it, some people ask why do we sleep, the more important question is why we ever woke up?
The percuilar circumstances that produce this consciousness is so unlikely that it is virtually impossible, dwarfed only by the fact that the universe exists in the first (there are so many physical characteristics that were necessary for the universe not to collapse in on itself before it even began, that there must have been trillions of failed attempts beforehand) and the temptation is to think that we are special, though the more likely explanation is simply survivor bias. We are the exception to the rule, and yet, without consciousness what was the point of this hugely impossible adventure, it could just be that that once complexity starts it's only direction of travel is increasing consciousness (with the occasion bump, sorry dinosaurs), it does mean that growth is not just possible but inevitable, and what that means for the future who knows as it unlikely that we are the end of the road for growth.
However it could be that this surface layer event will turn into something more, that our consciousness could grow into a more collective affair as it would certainty be a competitive survival advantage to be able to share our consciousness, to be linked in a real and undeniable manner. The Buddhist certainly believe that we already are, that we have an internal sense of interconnectedness, a collective wisdom that we can all draw upon, that we have a common sense of right and wrong that emerges from the void, just as our individual sense of self emerged from the same void, that when we harm others we harm ourselves, and that when we love ourselves we love the whole of humanity.
Furthermore that when we pay attention to exactly what is happening within our own experience it is right there in front of you, that we are expanding and growing our consciousness to the next level of experience through meditation and our life situation, that when enough of us do so, we will be taking the next step on our evolution as a species. We have everything we need to take that step, we have the knowledge, the ability and the motivation to do so, that life gives us the push that we need through the suffering and difficult situations that we all go through, grief, pain and loss are our servants that promote our growth and force us to develop as growing being of consciousness and awareness, just as we might cut the branches of a plant to encourage new growth, so does those moments of pain encourage us to become better people and a more balanced sense of self.
The world is crying out for a more evolved way of living, especially when we look at the damage that out of control egos are doing to the world at this stage of our development, our need for the newer cars, damaging travel, bigger houses, more stuff to put in them, more elaborate form of entertainment, the cruelty we are prepared to inflict on other in pursuit of profit, the carelessness that efficiency promotes, the need for status and power over others, the reckless nature of our own pleasure at the cost of others hurts the world and ourselves, as it is impossible to act in such a way without the soul keeping an account of our recklessness. It would not be so pointless if at least we were happy, and yet we have never been so unhappy and caught in the grip of suffering, suicides are increases, harmful behavior is more common, mental illness is increasing.
We need to stop, stop now, come back to our-self, to this moment, as it contains everything that we could possibly need, the only true happiness is found in the present moment, it is not something that we achieve, it is not a reward for good behavior, it is inherent in this moment. You simply have a choice to make, to be happy in this moment or not, it is always present no matter the circumstances, we carry that joy in our hearts, it is here right now, you do not have to delay it, it is not an action but a surrender to our present experience, and it is entirely obtainable by coming back to our surface layer, by sitting quietly between our internal and external experience. There might not be anything at that surface layer, but when we try to move away from it, that is when the suffering begins.
By looking for happiness in our external world, expecting someone else to give us it, or for us to earn it and we will be given the keys to a magical kingdom, is a fool's hope. Equally trying to think your way there, to gain mastery over your inner experience, feeling, emotions and thoughts, that is straight jacket that you will never escape. It is only by resting in between by being aware of both worlds, floating on the surface layer, being at ease as the currents of our sea meet the harsh wind of the sky, allowing ourselves to be tossed and blow about, that we are able to start sailing with a real sense of purpose, even if it is only the purpose of enjoying the moment, that is where joy lives, in being in between two incredible worlds and doing amazing things within this surface layer.
It is the gift of consciousness that means we are able to change the world around us, to build towards more consciousness, a better more evolved type of consciousness, that will hopefully be able to create wonderful things. First we have the accounting exercise of satisfying our basic needs, which really should not be as difficult as we have made it, food, shelter, security and basic freedom to live our lives, these really should be simple tasks to achieve, especially when people realize that it is the quality of our consciousness that matters, when we stop chasing happiness and find it in the present moment. That is why spiritual leader are so keen on evolving our consciousness, as it both solves the problems in our lives and gives us purpose at the same time. As what greater purpose is there other than the pursuit of happiness, it might occasionally lead individuals down the wrong path, however with greater consciousness our awareness of these pitfalls means that we can act as guides for others.
That is the gift of our mistakes and misfortunes, to be able to use them to help others, this is true at both the individual level and as a society, we are not perfect and our difficult are what teaches us and moves us closer to better versions of ourselves, it is what a good childhood looks like, lots of mistakes and having the support to come out the other side as better people. It is easy to think that our society is ancient and fully formed, but that would be a mistake, we are still infants at the cosmic level, we have barely crawled out of the biological soup of our birth, we are only really at the stage of surviving, my hope is that we are about to start thriving. In time the notion that we had to force people to work by the whip or wages, will become something that we are puzzled by and think of as a temporary necessity as the building blocks for what our world will become.
This idea will frighten many people and yet there is so much to do in a lifetime without work, and where we are able to become self-actualized individuals, there will still be work, but it will be upon ourselves, to reach higher level of consciousness, where we are able to recognized that we exist on this surface layer that is right in front of our eyes. It is will never be an ability that we are born with, it is something that does have to be worked upon by every individual, in time it might be marked as the point of maturity of becoming an adult, before we can fully contribute to society, it could just be one of the many markers that contribute to a fully rounded person, without doubt when a majority of people reach this true understanding and have a full experience life will be significantly different.
It should be pointed out that truly understanding that we are living on the surface layer between our internal and external experience can not be solely intellectual, understanding the theory is entirely different from actually experiencing it. It is only the direct experience that changes your point of view from being caught up in those internal and external events, that destroys the surface and divide between the two, and changes it in to a single unfolding of awareness and consciousness, where each event is awareness being self-aware, where consciousness is entirely self-contained within it's own moment, nothing more or less. That is the only escape from the suffering and delusion that there is something to protect within us, a single unchanging something that needs to last forever, we can be free once we stop trying to protect what does not exist.
Instead we get to just allow each moment to unfold exactly as it is, a just a flower blooms, we find that each moment of our lives is the most beautiful moment that it is possible to have, even when events suggest that we should be suffering, there is in fact joy. In meditation we get to prove to ourselves that even with our eyes closed and out attention upon the physical sensation of our in and out breath, that there is real and almost overwhelming joy right there in that moment, and if there is joy there, it must be everywhere and every when, even when we witness that everything changes, and that change always contain discomfort, that there is still joy right there and then, our surface layer might be empty and unobservable, but once we stop searching, what remains is joy in every moment.
