The root of fear?
As every action, thought and feeling comes from either love or fear, it is worth examining both. Love is in the present moment, it is the absence of fear and suffering, it might feel like it is weaker but it is more persistent, whilst the clouds might win for a while, the sun is always waiting behind them. Fear on the other hand is in the future, it is the fear of the future of experience that is the root of all fear. We do not fear the wasp, we fear the future suffering of having been stung, once it happens we no longer fear the wasp, we might suffer but we do not have the fear. It only by understanding this that we are able to operate without fear in the present.
That is not to say that fear is not without value, it is information, it is fear that makes us run away from bear (do not do that by the way, maintain eye contact, make yourself big and walk backwards slowly, feel mutual respect not fear, only prey feels fear). Fear will the generate necessary action to get you to a safer place, it the emergency fuel supplies that saves us, it is not elegant or skillful, it is just the minimum amount of action that removes you from the danger. It happens quickly, despite there normally being a better action if you had hindsight, it does the job and that is worthwhile in itself, especially when you are immature and do not know the wisest thing to do, children are very good at being fearful and it is for adults to teach them how to be graceful, fearless and knowledgeable.
When we teach children to cross a road, it is a lesson in how to observe and understand danger. The red man means stop, is a way of concentrating on what is important to know and what will make the future certain, if you cross when it is red your future is uncertain, unsafe and that makes us afraid, if you wait for the green man, you will cross safety, your future is certain and there is nothing to be fearful of, we help our children control their future. We do so by using our fear of the future, the suffering of what could happen, but we are not children, and yet so many of us are controlled by our fear, parents do not explain that fear is not real because that could endanger them, we use that fear to keep them safe. At a certain point fear has to be dealt with, and we need to develop a mature relationship with it.
It is worth looking at fear in slow motion, there are two stages, we react to fear with either, fight or flight, however before the reaction is a first stage, that is freezing, and we always freeze in that first instant and we stay there until we decide to fight or flee. When neither are good choices (and this is not a conscious choice, naked fear is not a thoughtful process) we will remain frozen, like a possum playing dead, it only when it is possible to fight or flee that we will do so. It might not seem like you froze as things can happen so quickly, but there is always a moment, a choice even if it was not conscious, however when it comes to our slower fears, not the immediate dangers but the fears we have of failure, being foolish, alone, becoming sick, old and death (all the big fun ones!), we can experience the same two stage reaction and so many of us get stuck in the freezing reactions.
When faced with the hugeness of the world and the unimaginable amount of suffering that has occurred, is it any wonder that some of us do freeze in horror and bafflement at the scale of this tsunami of pain. It would be the easiest thing to just sit down and be hypnotized by it's immensity. I hope it turns out that all this suffering is the birthing pains of something truly wonderful and that the universe was designed to reach that point, but that does not help us in the present moment. That suffering you feel is real and no one can take it away from you, except yourself, that is the only comfort I can give you and even trying, starting to try can start to elevate that suffering, you might only remove one brick from the wall at a time, and the wall might be as long as the Chinese variety, but every brick that you get rid of is progress and given a good enough objective there is no suffering that can not be carried if there is a purpose.
In stoicism, we have the practice of negative visualization, where we touch upon suffering, we might imagine what it is like to have no sight, we visualize how that experience would feel, what we would lose, we do not dwell in suffering (as who would want that, we are not trying to generate unnecessary suffering). However the gift of visualizing is that we get to open our eyes again and feel gratitude for our sight, this works because happiness is a relative measure, we feel happy when thing get better, our situation improves, we get that promotion, win the lottery, but as things do not get better everyday, we can generate our own happiness by changing our points of reference we deliberately create the experience of suffering so we feel happy when it stops. Which is what negative visualization and doing hard things (voluntary discomfort) does, a cup of tea after a walk in the rain is better than one after another sitting in a chair all day.
However to start really getting at the root of our fear, we have to go further and into much more uncomfortable lands, we have to sit with our fear and use the knowledge that at the roots is always the fear of future suffering, not the suffering that we are feeling now rather the unknowable amount of suffering in the future. We can always bear the suffering that we can currently experiencing, that is self-evident by the fact that we are bearing it, and that should be acknowledged, you should give yourself kudos for it, you are strong enough in the present moment to suffer your burdens. So why should we be so afraid that we will not be able to suffer our burdens in the future, when the evidence is that we always have in the past and even the weakest people we know have often suffered more than we can imagine in our present moment. History is full of people who have suffered in incredible ways, and they suffered it, there is always someone who has suffered more, though it is definitely not a competition.
That is why it is so powerful if you are able to suffer the future in the present, it can give you the confidence to say that I could endure that, whether it is the loss of your sight, hearing, mobility, you could be fine, your experience of life might change in the future but you can suffer it, live with it and even live well with it, but more than that it is possible to live without the fear of that suffering in the present moment. Which seems like something that is worth having if you can, knowing that you would be able to withstand the suffering does not mean you want to rush towards it or seek it out, it just means that you get to live in the present without that suffering, that is why it is worth digging down into the roots, so that it does not gain a grip over your present moment.
The present moment is after all the battleground where we fight our lives, our past creates the landscape upon which it is fought and the future guides what our objectives and mission might be, but what matters is the action we are taking now. What fear does is change our behaviour and actions, whereas love shows us what is possible, and fear will cloud that out if you let it, if you only guide is the fear of future suffering, you can not suffer in the moment for a better future. If you fear of failure stops you from trying something in the moment, you will fail, if fear a lack of achievement in your life, you might limit yourself to only worthy things and miss the joy of just messing around, if you fear looking stupid, you might never get to be foolish and young or make the mistakes that produce good people.
Life is to be lived, there are limits to be reached, there is the ridiculous, the sublime, the hilarious and a thousand unique experiences to be had only by you, and if fear is holding you back, dig it out, examine it, scold and laughed at it. The roots of fear is in the future and we can hold them for a lifetime even from our childhood to being old, instead treat yourself like you are someone you care enough to want them to be a better version of themselves, be kind, nurture them like a mother with their child, and make them face what they fear, make them stand up to the monster under the bed and be the fearless version of them that you know they can be. I have faith in everyone of you, that you can do this because if I can anyone can, so open your eyes and face your fears.
