Building a plausible exit strategy?
Beginnings are fun, full of possibility, unlimited by reality and illuminated by our imagination, but ultimately pointless without a satisfying conclusion. There are ten thousand beginning for every single ending, it is up to us to find the lone road that suits us, the one that is taken in preference to every other road. It is inevitable that we have to live with the ghosts of who we could be but that is all they are, shadows to provide contrast with the bright road that we chose, they are not a reason not to choose at all. We want awareness on where we are going, rather than allowing our attention to drift into regrets and jealousy of who we could been, so that we reach the ending that would want to wish for, which needs a plan.
However it is far too easy to stray from your path if you do not actually know where you want to go, whilst no walk is pointless, it is inherently good to move your body and progress, even when you do not particularly know where you are going. What I prefer is a walk with the purpose, even a manufactured one, I do not necessarily need to run out of milk to take a walk for a pint of milk worthwhile. Purpose is meaningful, that is it gives meaning to the moment that you are in, whilst the destination is not in itself important, if it is not plausible as being purposeful, the mind just does not buy it, that is why you have to build a plausible end destination, you need an exit strategy you believe in and desire.
As to why would you want an end result that you did not desire, this in itself is a reason to have an exit strategy, just to avoid an outcome you do not want. Nothing is certain, but many things are probable, and if it happened to someone else there is a chance it will happen to you. That is why biographies are so fascinating and informative, they are not fairy tales, they are not neat, tidy or necessarily narratively satisfying, but they certainly show you general paths that can be followed, and the costs of those paths.
Great people often have awful private lives, achievements are not rewards rather they are paid for with personal sacrifice, people give themselves to a mission, a cause or purpose and sacrifice their families and personal relationships, or even neglect themselves to the point of death. On the other hand a happy life might mean giving up social status, money and those same achievements, it is perfectly possible to have a little of each, a balanced life where you do good things and have good relationships, you just might not have a biography written about you.
It is up to you to focus on the end results you want, what your exit strategy is in any given situation. It can be as simple as getting paid for a days work, your purpose can just be to have enough, be kind to others and have compassion for everyone. It is not an excuse to do nothing, being a competent and confident person is not given, it has to be worked towards over literally a lifetime, and more particularly in your lifetime. To have full and satisfying relationships, it requires you to be a growing being of consciousness, to be interested in growing and becoming a better person, not just on your own but within the parameters of a relationship.
Solo adventures are perfectly fine, and indeed an important part life, they can mark turning points and milestones in your life (more people run a marathon at the age of thirty-nine than any other age). However the really difficult adventures require, a party, a team that cooperates to achieve something greater than themselves. That is what relationships are, you co-create an independent entity between each other, that is stronger than yourselves.
Exit strategies give you focus, meaning to each individual action that links together to produce an outcome that is greater than the individual parts. A well-written book is far greater than each individual word, but you put those words in the right order, those hundred thousand words become 10,000 sentences, 4000 paragraphs, 20 chapters and then a single book which then can have an impact on one million people. However to write that book, does not come from merely putting words into a random order without a plan, it comes from the exit strategy of completing a book, that is the only escape from the process of writing a book, it is perfectly possible to spend an entire lifetime and never reached the end. It is only by knowingly that the end point exists that is possible to get there. You break down great task into individual steps and then take the one step you can take now, well if not immediately, then as soon as possible.
It is in your life, you choose your story, then know what the end point looks likes. For a parent it is to produce independent, competent and confident people, it can then give your life meaning at every point between birth and them leaving for the University (being optimistic). It gives you a guide as to how you should be acting at any particular time, it gives your focus when you are trying to learn how to be a better parent, it
gives you the knowledge that it is not going to last forever so you can be grateful in the moment, even the bad moments. Knowing that these are the character building moments that no one wants but that everyone seems to get and even needs. As without that exit strategy, where you do not have any kind of plan, that is probably when parenting goes wrong, when it is about your needs, your worries and insecurities, when people are co-dependent rather than parenting, when people are just reacting rather than preparing a better response.
That is what getting extra exit strategy is really about and it is never too late to get one or change it, it is giving us a reason to endure a whole series of lessons and experiences that we need to have if we want to be happy or have a satisfying life. These things are not given to us, they have to be learnt, experienced, we grow, and the more we grow the more chance we have of knowing where we are growing towards. However if you are ever in doubt, make your exit strategy for any particular situation to be a slightly better version of yourself, because that always seems like a plausible possibility even in the worst of time.
