Acting from the heart?

In anything that we do, in any decision or action, we can choose to act from the head or heart, both options are on the table, and neither is better than the other, though one might be more appropriate than the other given the circumstances you find yourself in. The head is for technical problem that need logic, especially future problem that cause us fear, the mind can make the unknown foreseeable, at least enough to calm our fears, the heart on the other hand is for presence with the current moment and being present with love rather than self-obsessing with a running narrative, checklist-thinking and other fearful reactions. They are associated with the two different reactions in our body that is triggered by the Vagus nerve reacting with fear or love to any situation by either provoking the immediate awareness of our mind, or relaxing into a loving place where we can we our best selves and act with our heart.

The mind is cold like security checking for dangers, the slightest sign that all is not well, it looks out for hidden danger, the literal spider in the boots that surprises you with deadly venom, it is not here for fun or deepening your relationships, it is here to keep you alive so that you can have relationships. It is wholly concerned with the basics of life, the boring plumbing, the fire alarms that you hope you never need but are vital so that you can have a good night sleep, it cares about shelter, water, food, being poisoned, and it is intelligent enough to know that your social standing is as important, that is why it shames you, makes you feel guilt, to protect you in a social world from death by isolation (the fate of loners in a tribal subsidence world). The ego is not the enemy, it the enemy of your enemies but it is not exactly a friend either, more like a protective school teacher with no personal boundaries.

Acting from the heart has a different nature, it responds to what is actually happening not what you fear could happen, it can only emerge when you are not feeling fearful, the Vagus nerve switches from love to fear in a moment, it has a hair trigger for a reason, it is the last defence for the unexpected. However it can also switch back in the same time, jokes, surprise birthday parties, rollercoaster work for this reason, switching between love and fear is exciting, it gives us endorphin rushes, it deepens our experiences, makes the memories stronger, again it is having long time balance not short term swings that is important, if you never have safety, you are never going feel love and if nothing ever changes, you will never be excited and thrilled, prefect security is boring.

The heart is there for feeling and for listening to, it is not loud like the head, it does not shout or even speak with thoughts, it only feels and speaks with silence. You can ask it questions with your mind but is does not answer in words, and for that reason logic can over-rule it, it can scream with words that there is danger, the heart feels dread and a horror of which it does not speak. That is not to say it is silent, it constantly talks to you, you just have to use a different language, that of knowing what feels right and wrong, you propose ideas and see how they feel, good, bad, off, incomplete, lacking, these are textures, openness, closeness, rightness, they are not definite, they are open to interpretation and they should be treated in the round not just on one moment. You have to spend time with your heart, it is slow, lagging in time and might be feeling about something you where thinking about earlier.

That is why you have to keep asking questions not once but many times and in different forms, you have to work around the subject, you have to look at the mountains from many different angles. The heart does not reveal itself all in one go, it has to be studied and observed over a period of time, though it does give us hints in real time. The best dating advice I know is to focus on how you are feeling on a date rather than running through the checklist of what you want, it is important to know what you want, and considering what you want helps you to know how you want to be in the world, however when you are on a date that is not the time to be working that stuff out. It is the time that you want to be fully present and acting from a place of love so that you can see how this particular person makes you feel in the moment, that is why you want to know the difference between the two ways of thinking and acting, and that comes from your experiences and practice.

Whilst practicing acting from the heart might sound strange, is there any other skill that you have that does not benefit from practise, everyone can feel but how many people practice listening to their feelings, recognising what happens in the body when you are feeling rather than thinking (this is largely the movement of energy in your body, everyone has it, not everybody observes it, practice!). One of the best practices is writing down questions, repeating them in your mind and then listening to the reply, thoughts might pop up but they are softer, less certain, they have an external feeling to them, not your normal thinking at all. Where they comes from does not have the normal feeling of self rather they are almost foreign whilst being deeply internal, we do not have the language to describe the experience or knowledge to say where they come from, you can not be certain, some would call them source, spirit, God (one of my favourite ideas is that the voice of god is silence), Oneness, what is important is the experience of hearing that voice and listening to it like it is your friend who wants to guide you, and that it is a voice that you can truly trust.

As when you act from the heart, you are automatically acting from a place of observation, as to act according to the guidance of the heart, you must be listening to it, and being in a state of awareness is the best state to act from, as you have the most amount of information about what is happening in the present moment. It allows you to act according to the facts rather than reacting to your fears and your mind's interpretation of what is happening, by not being trapped in your distortions in thinking (we all have them) and listening, observing what people are doing or saying without our filters is powerful and allows more considered action. If you are wondering what is your proof, I offer none, I have my experience and I believe if you trying it you will have the same experience, you will see thing with greater clarity and from that clarity you have to the opportunity to act with greater quality. It takes effort and repeated experiments, but the payoff is life changing as it makes every decision a little better, and in time when you can consistently act from the heart, life really is better, or at least peaceful, and I could live with that.