What do I need?
There is nothing wrong with desire, our wants and needs guides us towards new experiences and how to grow as a being of consciousness, our guardian angels will not be disappointed in us because we want things in the physical world of egos. We do not betray the spiritual being inside us by having a Christmas wish list, things are nice, they can bring us joy, they can be tools with which to create, though they cannot be more than what they are, they can only fulfil the need of the ego. That does not mean you need to limit your wishes, there is no special virtue in only having one wish, in fact I encourage you to have unlimited wishes, just do not restrict them to material things, allow yourself to imagine all your needs being satisfied.
More than that, imagine a world where your deepest needs are fulfilled in the moment, imagine having an angel on your shoulder whose sole purpose is to bring you absolute joy in your present moment, and now imagine yourself telling your angel exactly what you want in this moment. That is the purpose of this article, to help your angel in its attempts to co-create with you the manifesting of a perfect moment, and the only moment you can co-create is the one you are experiencing now. Ask yourself the question, what do I need in this moment? As your angel can only give you what you ask for, and if you do not know, how can it? You have to met the angels halfway, you have to know what you need and so few of us do. And if your angel is only metaphorical, it is fine, as the mind itself needs the exact same information, it needs to know what you need, it is a problem solving machine but it needs to know of a problem before it can give you solutions. It is a question that needs to be practised, do not be surprised when you first asked this, that your mind will be silent or overwhelm you with a thousand different images.
Many people have never truly asked what do I need now, we might have a wish list of things and experiences that would be nice to have in the future, but you cannot be in Paris, New York and Sydney at the same time, you can not be rock climbing and ice skating simultaneously without risking serious injury. What the answer needs to address is what your life situation is right now, you might be at work, writing in your flat or drinking coffee with a friend, you might be happy or depressed, you could be a billionaire or homeless, whatever your situation is probably going to be different from most people and what you need from that situation will be near enough unique, that only you will really know your answer. Do not get lost in the past or future, you only ever need to know what you need now in this moment, when you take your awareness away from now, you are not answering the only question that matters, what do I need now? Later can wait as you can only address and effect this moment, if you are worrying about future needs you are setting up a problem that now can not deal with and you are taking energy away from fulfilling your need in the moment.
If the only answer that your mind gives you is silence, do not worry either, you're probably closer to the answer than someone overwhelmed by a thousand things that they cannot have right now, though every one of those images are useful information in discovering what your true needs are, they are the earth you go through to get to the buried treasure. However it is silence that gives you room for your quiet and authentic voice to be heard, not the voices of the ego that says, I want, I need, I should and I must, these voice are protecting us in the world of egos, they are not actually who we are, they are the guard dogs not the owner. We are the inner self that watches and observes, the part that knows right from wrong, and it only speaks into the silence we give it, it is the thoughts that arise from a wordless, selfless inner depth which is the same place that our two base emotions arise from, love and fear or more accurately love and being disconnected from love. Love is always available to us, we only lose that connection when we are pulled into the world of egos, and that is when the mind feels fear, when the mind loses the connection to oneness, source or spirit, it feels alone and afraid.
So when you asked the question what do I need? It can actually and quite naturally lead to the question am I connected to love, am I feeling presence with love, and its three children Grace, Ease and Joy. It is impossible to be present with the state of grace, ease and joy without being connected to love, and if you are connected the state will follow naturally. Though do not limit yourself just to that presence, share it, experience it as a living thing that you are bringing to the particular life situation you find yourself in, any moment can be special and full of deep meaning for both you and whoever you are sharing that moment with. Having presence is an incredible gift to bring to any conversation or casual interaction, you have to be present to listen and make someone else feel listened to, and do not limit yourself to making other people feel good, most especially make yourself feel good, treat yourself with kindness not least because it is the most incredible practice for being kind to others.
If you can develop the habit of kindness with yourself, making other people feel good is easy in comparison. We know the impact that a few kind words can have on us, it is the easiest thing in the world to think of the last compliment you got, either directly or indirectly, the last conversation that you came away feeling richer for and then compare it to the last time you were kind to yourself, which can be quite difficult to remember, and it is shocking how little effect positive thought can have in comparison to the words of other. Though we have been given the constant company of our own mind to practise on and it is the most difficult kind of practice, even when we are alone, we are not really alone, we have the constant chatter and teacher that is our mind, it can be the most pleasant companion if we make ,that choice to learn, if we do not, it can be full of fear, doubt and even self-loathing, but by choosing to be kind to ourselves, taking control of the mind and practising self-love, it can become the source of incredible health and happiness.
And once you have that, you then have the opportunity to share it, that is the gift that is so easy to give others once you have the practice, as it costs you so little and has such a great impact, kind words and actions have an incredibly distant proportion of effect on other people, for every kindness you show yourself when you then share that kindness it has a hundred times the effect than it does on yourself. Indeed enlightenment could be described as an addiction to the effect that kindness has on other people if you are able to show it to yourself first. And the path to kindness begin with the question, what do I need, at first the answer might be things, but when you have exhausted that desire, what is far underneath is a desire to be loved and feel love for others. When you know that is the true desire, when you ask am I feeling love in the moment, am l loved, am I showing love, am I giving my presence to someone else and am I present for myself? And that is the greatest need and gift you can give to yourself at any time of year, not just Christmas.